Ten Truths about Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is a skill that everyone needs. It is also a skill that can always be improved. However, colleges and universities do not teach conflict resolution to new teachers. New teachers are woefully ill-prepared to talk with an angry parent or to resolve any but the simplest conflict. Because conflict resolution skills are considered soft skills, many educators and many people in general underestimate the need to develop these skills, scoff at the suggestion that they need to develop these skills, and reject all efforts to improve these skills. These same people most often exhibit the exact opposite skills that would result in conflict resolution--entering into debates and arguments when they should be looking for resoluton.

I suggest that there are Ten Truths about Conflict Resolution and that if a person begins by accepting these truths, then that person will move a giant step toward becoming a skilled in conflict resolution.

The Ten Truths about Conflict Resolution are:

1. It is better to talk face-to-face than to talk over the phone. It is better to talk on the phone than to communicate through an email. It is better to communicate through an email than not to communicate at all.
2. When communicating through email, keep the message short and stick to the facts.
3. Meeting with people face-to-face not only helps to resolve conflict but also helps to develop relationships important in resolving future conflicts.
4. Parents have a right to be upset, angry, or frustrated. They want what is best for their children and love their kids. Let an angry parent talk. Let the parent express the emotions for a few minutes. Not only will the parent unburden himself of the frustration, but you will also be able to identify the problem.
5. Find the facts. When an angry parent calls, the problem may be wrapped in many layers of emotion. Listen carefully for the real problem.
6. You are the professional, the calm voice in the meeting. Remain calm and listen carefully. Identify the issue and when you have the opportunity to speak, restate the problem as you understand it. This will let the other person know that you are listening.
7. Take notes. It will help you to stay focused.
8. Be proactive. If a teacher has had a problem with a student during the day, the teacher should call the parent at the earliest convenience. The parent is more likely to believe the first story that he/she hears, and if that happens to be the story that the student tells, it will be more difficult for the teacher to convince the parent otherwise.
9. Invite the parent or other person to provide a solution. Ask the other person what he or she would like to see happen to resolve the issue. This does not mean that what that person proposes will be the solution, but it again communicates that you are willing to listen and to work toward a resolution that both can agree to.
10. It is not about winning. It is about resolving the issue.

The New Educational Utopia of 21st Century Learning

Today's EdWeek newsletter led me to an article entitled "Backers of '21st-Century Skills' Take Flak." The article identifies 21st century skills as "a push for schools to teach ­­­critical-thinking, analytical, and technology skills, in addition to the “soft skills” of creativity, collaboration, and communication that some experts argue will be in high demand as the world increasingly shifts to a global, entrepreneurial, and service-based workplace." The leading group making this push is the Partnership for 21st Century Skills. Another group that also promotes 21st century skills and learning is the Metiri Group with the enGuage 21st Century Skills. There are similarities between what each presents. I have long preferred the enGuage presentation of the skills, but the Partnership group have begun to attract the greater attention. (I believe the Partnership for 21st Century Skills signed an agreement to work with ASCD--the Association for Supervison and Curriculum Development in March of '08--giving that group a real boost in credibility, whether deserved or not.)

What struck me most about the EdWeek article was the opposition to 21st century skills. Could it be that project-based learning, collaboration, and other such "soft skills" are not as essential as we are being led to believe? The article made reference to Diane Ravitch. I had never heard of her but she was speaking out, so I googled her and found her associated with a group called Common Core. She is more importantly an educational historian at New York University. On the Common Core site, Dr. Ravitch has posted a blog that sheds considerable light on the opposition to the touting of 21st century skills as the new way to utopia. She begins with:

In the land of American pedagogy, innovation is frequently confused with progress, and whatever is thought to be new is always embraced more readily than what is known to be true. Thus, pedagogues, policymakers, thought leaders, facilitators, and elected officials are rushing to get aboard the 21st century skills express train, lest they appear to be old-fashioned or traditional, these terms being the worst sort of opprobrium that can be hurled at any educator.

From there, Dr. Ravitch outlines decades of school reform methods that parallel the 21st century skills movement with the conviction that such efforts ultimatel seek to devalue solid academic learning.

So maybe I agree with Dr. Ravitch; maybe I disagree. Either way, what she has to say is important and worth reading, and I hope that if you have taken the time to read my drivel that you will take the time to read her blog. Then, please, come back and post a response.

I'm anxious to hear what you have to say.